Behind the Curtain

photo credit

Remember the scene in The Wizard of Oz where Toto pulls the curtain back and reveals the secret...that the Great and Powerful Wizard is really just a man pulling levers and pushing buttons.

"Pay no attention to the man behind the curtain!"

Well, blogging can become like that. Many times, we, meaning mom bloggers, make our blogs look pretty and write positive, uplifting things and post beautifully staged pictures of our homes and projects, giving the impression that we have it all together. Not necessarily me. It can be unintentionally deceiving and discouraging to other moms who only see this facade and don't know what really happens in our homes and lives. They don't see the struggles, the mistakes, the same things that they deal with. The nature of blogging requires a balance of privacy and publicity. Of course, we have to be careful what and how much we share with the rest of the world and, naturally, we want to show our best side.

I'm pulling back the curtain a little here.

Honestly, there are days when, no matter how good my intentions are, no matter how much I've planned, it is just pure chaos here...morning to night. There are dirty dishes piled up and mountains of dirty laundry to be washed. Clean laundry that was folded and stacked has to be refolded because a little person was looking for his favorite shirt. The three-year-old is hiding under the table nibbling on a block of cheese or writing on his belly with a marker. Or he noticed the door was left unlocked and he is running down the driveway in his underwear...or naked. The six-year-old and nine-year-old are arguing over a toy, book, TV show, the color of the sky. The teenager disappears every time I ask him to do his chores and only shows up when he's hungry. I'm not up for the bedtime battle and I let little boys fall asleep on the couch watching cartoons. These are the days that wear me down. The days that I don't want to share because they make me feel like I failed somehow.

The truth is that these days aren't necessarily a failure in themselves, but they are the ones that define me. How will I respond? Will it be with grace and love? Or will it be with selfish impatience and anger? Another truth: I don't always respond with grace and love.

Being a mom is beyond hard.

Blogging gives me a creative and social outlet and allows me to develop another facet of myself. I am the woman behind the screen, pushing buttons and clicking the mouse, creating the vision of me that I want you to see.


Shared at: Fellowship Fridays